For those who didn't know already, the longest running show on MTV 120 Minutes is no more. This past May it was replaced with Subterranean, Fridays at Midnight (eastern). I haven't seen the show yet, but tomorrow's show is one that every fan of Depeche Mode should check out! Dave Gahan will be making an appearance! I assume he will be talking about his new album Paper Monsters. If you haven't got the album, tune into my radio station Friday and check it out. It's worth a listen.
I hate getting reviews. We have quarterly reviews, today I had mine. It wasn't bad, but I just hate it. I feel like I am always being judged. Why can't I just do my job and make people happy? It just seems like I am always one rung below the top on the ladder. I never seem to get anywhere no matter how hard I try. The fact that I hate my job, just makes this whole process even worse. I like working for my manager, but sometimes, my teammates suck. Someone is always bringing the team down, there is always a power struggle going on, or some sort of drama that seems to stress me out. I know that sometimes I may be to blame I admit that. It's something that I know I need to work on.
Lately, I am feeling like I do not want to be on top. Why? I don't get a higher rasie for it, I don't get trips to Hawaii or anything like that. So why beat myself up everyday, year in and year out for an extra $1000? Which isn't really $1000 after your beloved friend the IRS takes half of it. Seriously, I would work myself to the bone just to get ahead. I would stay late, come in on a day off, buy stuff for team prizes with my own money just so that my team would come out on top. I guess I'm feeling a neglected and maybe a little unappreciated. I know my manager notices my work, but does anyone else? And why do I care so much about what my peers think? What they think shouldn't matter, but for some god awful reason it does. I guess we all want to be accepted at some point in our lives. It was school when we are younger, now it's at our jobs. Does the cycle ever end?
Speaking of tunes.....right now when you click on the link for my radio station, you won't get anything since I am not broadcasting. Let me give you some background on this.....
I bought a small amount of server space for the radio station when I was playing There more. I had more consistant broadcast hours because of the game. Now that I have some issues with There, I have toned back the amount of time I spend in the game. Thus, I am barely online anymore.
I am still learning the whole backend shell access thing. I don't know how to upload stuff. I'm lucky if I remember how to get the program running. So when I am broadcasting, it's a live stream from my computer and mp3 lists. Give me time and I'll figure it out.
As for broadcast hours, you can usually tune in on Wed night, Thrs, Fri, and Sat and find me jammin'. Those are the days I don't have to be at work, so I can stay up into the wee-hours playing SWG.
If you happen to tune in, please drop me a line. I am always on Yahoo instatnt messenger, azchef101, you can email, or leave comments in the forums. I always like to hear who has stopped by.
It finally rained in the desert! I hope my friend Brian stops by the site when it rains to see my little weather pixie in the rain. She's so cute! I love it when it rains, I sleep so much better when it's cooler.
Don't you just love this guy?? He's so adorable!
But why do all male chefs have this arms folded pose?
a quote from my friends Matthew and Annie in reposnse to me feeding my puppies blueberries.
So going out with Joey last night was really cool. It's good to hang out with him again. I guess his young ass girlfriend (she's 18 or 19, he's 30) freaked out about him going out with me last night. So she left a ton of messages on his cell phone screaming at him to move out.
While we were at the show, Joey and I talked about this relationship. I don't like it. She's young, and she acts young. He's 30yrs old and with baggage. I know that no girl our age would give Joey the time of day, but that doesn't mean that you need to hook up with someone that young. Get your shit together and wait for the right girl to come along. Little girls see Joey as inspiring, he's got goals, he still has time to be a rock star or prefessional skater. Which is fine, but he really needs to find someone with a bit more maturity and life under their belt.
So this whole thing last night just proved my point. Joey and I have been friends for 15 years. That's almost longer than this girl has been alive. He told her that in no way would he dump our friendship for her. Because we have been friends for so long and because we are still so much a part of each other's lives. I really think that Joey should have had this conversation sooner with this little girl. When I met Courtney, I told him like a week after we started dating about Chad and Joey, and that I would not compromise my relationship with them for anything, if that meant that our new relationship would not go further, fine. Hence why you do this in the beginning, then no one gets hurt. Joey's little girl girlfriend didn't seem to understand this. He's too old to play these games, and it's drama that he does not need.
Joey wants me to meet this little girl. I don't really see the point of doing that. I don't want to be friends with this girl, so why bother. She's not going to be a lifelong fixture in his life, last night pretty much solidified that. Plus, she young. I know that I am judgemental, I have accepted that flaw, but I don't like anyone for the most part. Especially Joey's girlfriends. I have only liked 4, and one of those four betrayed me, so I guess it would be 3. I don't have room in my life for the drama this girl brings to the table.
I don't know what the outcome of last night's drama, but I hope that Joey moved out or will be moving out.
So Joey and I went to see Liz last night. Very cool show. Not too many people, and no little kids! It had been a while since I went to a concert, so it's good to go to one and have a good experience. Go buy her new CD!
1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
I can't say since I am trying to write my screenplay as we speak. I know that there are un-ethical people out there, and I don't want to risk it. If you would like to know, email me
2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Great question....
depeche mode, everything counts, strangelove, and higher love
new order, love will never tear us apart
the sundays, here's where the story ends
oingo boingo, sweat, and we close our eyes
nirvana, heart-shaped box
beastie boys, hey ladies, and sabatoge
that's all I can think of right off the top of my head
3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
live-action, probably black and white
4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
me: an unknown chubby actress
joey: himself
chad: himself
dad: kevin bacon, like that character that he played that went on a rampage one hot day
sister: need someone whose voice grates on your every nerve
5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
I guess it would depend on what channel the preview aired....for MTV, something really fast that showed the main characters going over the edge....for everything else, maybe something that showed the main character's struggles with being overweight and falling in love with her best friend.
Really great questions!
So I wanted something that would say a lot about who I am. I was watching Pretty in Pink for like the 1000th time, and this came to mind. I am forever stuck in a John Hughes film.
What do you think about the new design?
I am determined to put up a new website design today. I have been so un-inspired as of late. I'm not sure what is causing the block. Over the last two weeks, I've barely stepped near the computer. What's wrong with me!!!??
I applied for another job yesterday. I think my current one is dragging me down emotionally. People always say that the moment you dread going to work it's time for a change. I've been saying that for two years, I think it's catching up with me. Work isn't fun anymore, not that it was in the past, but at least the people were fun. I spend most of my day agonizing over every aspect of my conversations. Did I offer estatements or econfirms? Does the client qualify for branch workshops? I understand that everyone needs to work together to generate leads, but I'm a geek with no sales experience. I just care about their problem, how can I fix it, and will they be happy with the efforts I put forth? I don't mind doing all the other stuff, but I would be more motivated to do them if my reviews and job didn't hinge upon it. Forcing it down my throat isn't the way to motivate me.
Sorry about the work tangent. I just wanted to give you some background. I know people from my office read this, they will understand where I am coming from. I can't be the only one who feels this way, although I feel like I am.
So if you stumble upon the site today, things may look funny as I make the transition to a new design.
Being the culinary geek that I am, this show is a must see tonight...The Restaurant
Plus I think Rocco is cute!
1. When was the last time you cheated?
I had the chance to at work the other day, but decided not to
2. When was the last time you stole?
18 yrs old
3. When was the last time you lied?
dunno
4. When was the last time you broke or vandalized another's property?
17 yrs old, TP-ing houses
5. When was the last time you hurt a loved one?
I'm sure that my deceased daddy will say that i hurt him everyday he was alive.
I know, I watch way too much TV...you don't have to tell me :)
Anyways, I was thinking about the movie Say Anything. Anyone who knows me knows that this is my all-time favorite movie. All of Cameron Crowe's films are in my all time favorite list. I started thinking about how Peter Gabriel's song "In Your Eyes" made me feel. I remember the clothes I was wearing when I first saw the movie, the smell in the air, who was sitting next to me, how hot it was that day...etc. God the song brought chills, as did the movie. I dragged my friends to see that movie like 50 times that summer.
Chad and I were talking not too long ago about what we remember. He goes blank from about 1992-1997. I sometimes think that I'm the freak since I remember very specific things. Chad was telling Brandy about my memory, and I wasn't really paying attenition to the conversation, and he asks me what day we met, what he was wearing and where we were. And without blinking, I rattled the informtaion off, like it was my home telephone number. He was totally stunned. I'm just a freak....things like that are easy for me...
I haven't talk about Joey in a while, well there just wasn't much to say. I finally talked to him last night for a little bit. He said that he hasn't called me cause he thought I was mad about everything. I told him that I am mad, but it's not anything that we can't work out. Pushing the issue aside doesn't make it go away any faster. I know he needs space, and I hope that I gave him the distance he needed. He says that he's been clean from everything for seven months. Great, I hope it continues...I'll believe it when I see it I suppose...He still has to earn my trust. I asked him if he would go with me to see Liz Phair, and he said that he would. That's cool....I know that Joey may not like her, but I know that he'll go cause it's music...I'm glad I got to talk to Joey, it means a lot to keep him in my life.
If you're working on the computer this weekend. Click on the link to my radio station. I've put together a ton of songs, a soundtrack of my life. Each song has a story and special place in my heart. Especially the older songs. Take a listen, and let me know what you think!
This happened to me last spring, and now it's back with pain. I won't go into too much detail cause I know a few guys read this blog too. But the cramping and eek that comes along with being a woman sucks! I have to go to the Dr. yet again today. They say it's hormones, I don't care, it freaking hurts. Just stop the pain, PLEASE! It seems that the cramping hurts most when I'm up and moving around, so I had this past Sunday off from work, and I spent the whole day in bed, and there was no pain. I went to work on Monday, I was fine when I woke up, but within an hour, the sharp pain was back. I just want it to all stop!
I'm trying to read more books this summer. I picked up three yesterday that sounded really good. One in particular, Why Girls Are Weird, by Pamela Ribon hit a little close to home for me. I'll add my summer reading list tomrrow.
I haven't played role playing games since 5th grade D&D, so this is a step that I normally don't take. My friend suggested that I try the game out and that I would love it. After calling about 5 stores, I finally got a copy of SWG. I was playing the game until 3:30am! Courtney had to be up at 4am for work, I heard his alarm go off! Totally crazy!
My friend has successfully converted me to SWG. I'll still keep my account for There, for the social aspects. Not that SWG doesn't have that, I think it's at more of a geek level even for me. I'm still trying to get on to the same server as my friend, but as of this afternoon I am having no luck. Must be too populated.
Oh and just so you know...my SWG name sucks. I'm not one of those cool geeks that can make up interesting names that sound comprehendable. I'll make a few different characters, maybe one of them will have a kick ass name...
Happy 4th!
(and no I don't plan on geeking out in front of the computer all day! I have a life too!) :)
I just happen to catch the beginning of TRL today, and the Lillix video for "It's About Time"....never thought of it, but it sounds so very similar to Liz's "Why Can't I" song. Tune in, I'll play them back to back. I know that both songs were produced by The Matrix, but come on...
Check out the video for the first single off the new album:
Why Can't I
She so rocks! I can't say that enough! I haven't listened to an album over and over like this since Depeche Mode! Please run out an buy it now!
Dude, one reason I was jonesing to get back online is because of Liz Phair. I've been bursting at the seams all week. If you click on the radio link to the left, you can hear the latest album from Liz Phair. And let me tell you right now, that it ROCKS! She is so fucking rad!
So sorry for my absence this last few weeks. I guess my friend's server got hit with DOS attacks, so I haven't been able to get hold of her to see what was going on...so I switched back to my provider until things die down...
So I got promoted to assistant coordinator at my cool job. It's offical now...it's very cool. I'm really excited to do a good job.
Courtney's sister, Carrie, and her boyfriend, Matt, will be in and out Phoenix this month. It's good to have them around. Carrie is cool, I'm glad that we get along well. Matt rocks too! He's a dog trainer, and I swear the dogs act so much better when he's around. So we're dog sitting for them right now. Noel is a Huskey who can jump 10ft fences.
I have the next 5 days off from work. I really want to get a new page design done during this time. I'm still waiting to get insipred.
Good to be back online again!
