I have a ton of crap to get done today and what am I doing..browsing the blogs.  Maybe the meds take the weekend off?

Brian, Dayle and I had an awesome afternoon yesterday browsing thrift and antique shops all along 7th Ave and Melrose.  Lots of cute stuff out there.  Then Brian and went to see Made of Honor.  It’s entertaining and cute, we had a good time.

I spent some time on iTunes and updated my music library with some new stuff from the hottie Gavin Rossdale.  I’ve been playing around with the wedding mix, making sure that everything has a good flow.  Courtney will probably change it up when I’m not looking.  For those attending the wedding don’t worry it’s got a little bit of everything. 

A longtime friend is going through some drama and for once I really have no idea what the hell is going on.  Seriously I don’t know a thing.  Nothing is making any kind of sense.  I am taking the stance of just being there if they both need it.  I’m OK with not knowing the details at this point.  I just hope that whatever it is resolved by wedding time or I’m going to go all bridezilla on their ass.

I gained .2lbs this week, not too shabby.  Still no soda since mid February, YEAH!  Now I just need to exercise.

Have I mentioned that I love my MacBook?  I’ve named him Pauly.

I’m done rambling now.

I’ve been watching the Marcus Buckingham workshop that was featured on Oprah a few weeks back.  Now that the meds have kicked in I am finding that I can concentrate on what I need to do to find the right balance in my job and life.  The workshop asks you to examine the things that make you feel invigorated and the things that make you feel weak in your job.  Once you have identified your strengths you can then start to move towards doing those things.  I took a look at the things that I do every day at work, here is what I have come up with:

I feel strong when...
I compile and complete the weekly reporting.
I have all the incoming projects assigned to the right resource
I have discussions about subjects that I know a lot about

I feel weak when...
I am asked to perform a task without a clear understanding of what needs to be accomplished
I have to ask for project statuses
I am not knowledgeable about the topic that is being discussed

There.  I’ve put it all out on the table.  I still feel like I am in a learning phase of my current role and until I can master the basics I don’t want to move on to something else.  I believe my biggest struggle is asking for help when I don’t understand something.  This week I had two projects come into our queue that confused the heck out of me and I didn’t know how to assign them.  After reading the requests a few times I went to my boss and she walked me through the details that were going on behind the scenes.  I need to find the confidence to not be afraid to ask her or my peers for an explanation.  Another struggle is that the team that I support does not respect the contributions I make to the team.  They don’t understand that if it wasn’t for the work that I do we would not have been able to bring on additional help.  I was able to put numbers behind the amount of work that they have and that gives my boss the tools she needs to fight for more help.  Some of the team is really good about communicating their needs to me and the others don’t give a flying poo.

I loved the work I was doing in my last job but I left because it was turning into something completely different and if I did not get out fast I would end up sabotaging myself.  I was good at all the report building and building relationships with the managers but I hated that every aspect of the job could impact someone’s bonus.  I hated all the corporate rah-rah crap.  I hated being micromanaged even though I helped managers micromanage their teams.  And I hated that when I showed the tiniest bit of resistance to an idea or process that it would come back to bite me in the ass.

I’m not in a position to completely change my job because I still need to put a roof over our heads but I hope that I can make the job more tolerable.  School is ending next week and I really want to focus on doing things that I love like scrapbooking and photography.  Speaking of photography, I was referred by a friend for a job!  That’s exciting and scary for me.  I’m going to take a bunch of practice shots this weekend to make sure I’m on top of my game.

Its a big movie weekend for us, Ironman and then I’m going to see Made of Honor with my MOH Brian.  Have a safe weekend! 

I in past years you may have stopped by this blog around the end of April to read about my experiences at Coachella, not this year.  Why?  Because we decided that getting married and savng money for a wedding was more important this year.  Sure I could have skipped the fancy wedding dress to cover the weekend expenses but I’m sure no one wants to see me walk down the eisle in my cargo shorts and t-shirt.  Does this offically make me an adult?

Week two of the meds and I’m feeling pretty darn good.  I’ve lost 3.6lbs as of my WW meeting on Saturday, and I have bursts of motivation throughout the day.  The bursts typically start out as something small like sorting through my magazines, then that leads to dusting and reorganizing the bookcases, to cleaning the ceiling fans and floors.  It’s not a bad thing by any means but I tend to get a little OCD about it.  By 10pm I am physically exhausted, to the point that I could fall asleep with all my clothes on.  Then I’m up again at around 5-530ish.  Getting up has been a heck of a lot easier.  Seriously, I feel like I have springs on my feet when I bounce out of bed.  The biggest change I’ve noticed so far is that I have to force myself to eat regularly.  Again not a bad thing but something to get used to.  The focus on work and school has all been good.  I can actually get work done when I’m work (except when I’m writing on this blog like I am now).

For all my wedding guests that just happen to be reading this blog, mail your RSVPs soon! 

Carrie and I have been hanging out with Granny at the hospital all weekend.  Granny is doing a really great job with her recovery.  Hopefully she will be home soon.  Granny had a day full of therapy so Carrie and I decided to duck out and get some errands done and maybe along the way we’ll wander into a few antique shops.  We stopped at this one flea market place, we’re wandering around the booths and I get stopped by this little old lady pushing a cart around.  I don’t know a lick of Spanish but she was pointing at my stomach so I’m guessing that she is asking me if I’m pregnant.  Yeah, nothing happening there lady but fat.  Then she wanders over by her daughter but then comes back to me, she points at my purse, she asks her daughter to translate, “she wants to know where you got it from.” “I got it from Nordstroms” I replied.  They both looked puzzled, “Nordstroms the department store...” still nothing.  Then I tell them that you can get it online, then they got it.  It’s not a flashy fancy purse, just a simple pink seatbelt purse.  Next the little old lady grabs my left wrist, she’s pointing at my watch.  Her daughter says that she thinks it’s pretty, I tell them the stones in it are not real I just liked the color (again pink).  Then she sees my engagement ring, she really liked that.  Seriously, I didn’t know how to react.  I just said thank you and walked away.  I mean what do you do when some random lady stops you and begins touching you?? 

Albuquerque is just an odd town to me.  Carrie pointed out that everyone moves a lot slower, it seems that no one is in a rush.  It took us a while to even locate a fast food restaurant.  They just are not on every corner like they are back home. 

Day two of the meds and I haven’t notice too much of a change.  I did feel a bit more jittery than I normally do.  The only thing I really had on my mind is how am I going to get my homework done.  I have so many labs to get done.  And for a brief few minutes I kinda sorta panicked about what would happen to me when I die.  I’m sure that being in the hospital and helping Granny through all this is what prompted the thoughts.  It last about five minutes and then I was over it.  I’m tossing around a lot while I’m sleeping but that could just be because I’m not in my own bed.

I’m home tomorrow evening.  I miss my dude and my puppies.

So here I sit at the airport in Albuquerque, NM waiting for Carrie’s flight to arrive.  Seriously the scenery looks just like Phoenix, brown.  Carrie and I are meeting up here to hang out with Granny for the next few days.  Granny was in a car accident on her way back home from Phoenix just over a week ago.  She’s been moved to a rehab center and is doing well.  Having family around her just speeds up her recovery time and we’re happy to do it.

I’ve added a new addition to my geek family...a new MacBook Pro!  It is so pretty!  Now all I need is the pink external hard drive.

I went out with the gang to see Margaret Cho last night.  That was fun.  Dayle, Molly and I met up for dinner at LGO where we were gawking over the two hot dudes sitting at the counter.  It was a nice evening and being with friends just makes it all the better.

Today marks the start of something new for me.  I’ve been struggling a great deal with school over the past few months.  Concentration has never been a strength for me but it just seemed like it was taking more of an effort me than in the past.  To the doc I went thinking that maybe I had ADHD, they ran a bunch of test which involved verbal math problems which I am no good at doing.  The result....depression is causing the lack of focus issues.  Not a terribly big surprise but I really didn’t notice the changes that were going on.  So I’m going to try out some meds and see where that takes me.  I’m going to start using this venue a bit more to document my changes.  Hopefully the meds will give me the jolt of energy and focus I need to get this site redesigned!

Have a great weekend!

Brian, Dayle, Carrie and Cathy threw Courtney and I wonderful wedding shower last weekend.  It was everything I could have asked for.  When we started talking about the shower I was in total control freak mode and I was seriously stressed out about how it was going to come together.  All I ever wanted was a little party with my friends and family, something totally not stressful.  My poor maid of honor Brian, I must have changed my mind a hundred times.  And before you know my dear friends took control and wouldn’t let me do anything.  Seriously that was probably the smartest move they could have made.  I was so much more surprised the day of the shower than I could have ever expected.  It meant so much to me to have everyone that I hold dear in one place.  I have the bestest friends ever!

I thought I would try out Adobe’s PhotoShop Express so you can find photos of the weekend there.

It’s going to get pretty close to 90 degrees here in the desert over the next few days.  I am so not ready for the heat to be here so soon. 

I’m off to study and make a bunch of thank you cards.  Have a lovely weekend!

I finally got my Internet issues all ironed out and we are back online.  I watched way too much TV and didn’t get enough homework done while being offline.  Time to play the catch up game.

This is going to be a crazy week.  Lots of family will be in town for the wedding shower this weekend.  It will be so nice to have everyone in one place.  Although I am not looking forward to being in the center.  Brian, Dayle, Cathy and Carrie have been planning for several weeks and I have to admit that they have done an amazing job at keeping me out of the loop.  I have no idea what is going except that there will be sweet tea and southern eats. 

I’ve posted pictures from the last week on my Flickr account.  This by far is my favorite:

It doesn’t get any better than this.  All episodes of Sotuh Park are now streaming online at SouthParkStudios.com.  To my cubical dweller friends don’t expect a fast turnaround time.

Thank you Matt and Trey!

Seriously, I’m totally putting it all out there with this title.  This is my gripe or frustration right now.....

I fully acknowledge and accept that I am a fat girl.  I am making changes in my life to fix that no need to harp on me about it, loosing the fat just takes time.  It took many years for me to get here I’m sure it will take many more to get it off of me.  I am also a fat girl who is getting married in five months and would love to have a few nice outfits for the week of the wedding.  The problem...clothing designers refuse to understand the needs of fat girls who need special occassion wear.  While it make look good on some women, I don’t want a leopard print moo-moo with fake rhinestones, sorry it’s just not me. 

I am desperately looking for something cotton, classic, flirty and most importantly comfortable.  Why is it so freaking hard to find that in a dress??  I love all the new dresses that Anthropologie just came out with, but that company does not cater to fat girls.  I’ve looked up and down the Internet to find something that resembles that shabby chic style and I’ve keep coming back empty handed.  At this point I am almost willing to make my own dress if it weren’t for the fact that I suck at sewing.  How cute would a dress be if I used this fabric??  So cute!  I can hem and mend stuff just enough to get by but making a whole outfit would be hard for me.  I’m sure that it would look ok but the first time through the wash would be like a death sentence for the outfit.

If you know of any websites or designers that I might have missed along the way please leave a comment. 

(Thanks to Mark Hoppus for the title)

Spring break when I was a kid had a totally different meaning than it does for me as an adult.  Spring break at one time for me was all about staying up late, parties and hanging with my crew.  As an adult in my mid-thirties (am I seriously saying that??) it means getting caught up on sleep, and chores around the house that you’ve been meaning to do but didn’t have time because work and school suck the life out of you.  I totally missed the memo on that change.  But seriously this has been a really productive week around the Hannafin house.  Courtney got so much yard work done on Tuesday, our front yard no longer looks like the back of a hairy dead muppet.  Maybe now people will stop leaving landscaping flyers on my door.  About a month ago I asked Courtney to write down three things that he wanted to change in his life, one of them was to eliminate things that do not hold any real value in his life and we stuck the note on the bathroom mirror.  I guess it’s sinking into our subconscious because we have been on this mad clensing kick around the house.  Even though that was something that he wants to change in his life, I see the note every morning too and I’m slowly making changes also.  It’s a good thing.

The engaged couples weekend wasn’t all that bad.  The discussions about sexuality were a bit uncomfortable.  We listened and we’re still going to have our own beliefs.  The sessions really made things so much more clearer for our relationship.  I had many light bulb moments throughout the weekend.  My sister is struggling with her marriage and honestly believe that if they went through this before they got married they might not be where they are now.  My Nana was in my every thought during this weekend.  My grandparents were very involved in our lives and they were very active in the church and that meant that we had to be involved also.  I never fully appreciated it until now.  I’m not a religious fanatic or anything but I do believe.  Going through this whole marriage process has brought so much clarity on my past and where I am now.  I can’t put my finger on it but going through all of this just feels right.  I think my Nana would be proud.

Things are quiet at work.  The flu has been making its rounds throughout the office leaving many casualities which is good because that means that there is less work coming in. 

I think we are going to have a big weekend full of St. Patty’s day activities and family time.  I’ll take pictures along the way.  Have a safe weekend!

Getting sick put a HUGE cramp in my schedule for class.  I didn’t think that I would ever be able to catch up but thankfully with the help from SRP and a blown server my instructor gave us an additional week to get the last set of labs done.  Someone upstairs loves me I also have an extra week to study for the final exam which I so needed!

Wedding plans are moving right along.  Courtney and I are getting married in the Catholic church and if you’re not familar with that practice they make engaged couples go through a series of classes before they can be married in the church.  We have had to meet with a priest who gives a compatibility test and then goes through all the results to ensure that we have no conflicts.  Two hundred questions later and it turns out that Courtney and I are pretty compatiable.  When we started this process we were told that these sessions with the priest could take three to six months.  One session, that was it.  Now all that we have left to do is make sure that all our documents are in order, attend the engaged couples weekend and a natural family planning class.  That’s it.  I was more stressed about going through this process than I am about getting married.  We have our couples weekend tomorrow and Friday and we have no idea what to expect.  We just know that other couples will be going through the same class.  I hope we don’t have to hug each other, anyone who knows me knows that I have personal space issues.  I’ll take my camera to document the events but I don’t know if picture taking is allowed.

I had major geek drama this week.  I had an external networked hard drive crash on Saturday.  Everything is on that hard drive.  EVERYTHING!  I know, I know.  I should have backed up my backup, no need to harp on me now.  I totally know better.  So the drive is out of warrenty so I investigate data recovery services.  Seriously, why didn’t I get into this business??  It’s a total sham, they play on your emotional attachment to your stuff.  I’m trying to not be so attached but it’s all my pictures for the last three years and 1800 mp3’s.  That’s all the pictures since Maggie and the twins were born.  How could I not be attached to the data.  I totally believe that it’s a power source issue and not so much a corruption of data and if I’m right it should keep prices low.  These data recovery places don’t give quotes on what you need they tell you over and over that it could cost $500-$2700 and that you will be billed once the work is complete.  I’m trying to be positive.  I’ll write a review once everything is done.

My day is done.  Enjoy your weekend!

I love my shoes
Originally uploaded by azchef101 -elisabet

The twins totally need to get up to speed with their Sci-Fi movie watching.  Seriously, Courtney and I are not fulfilling our Aunt and Uncle duties.

1. I am loving The National and their new album. 

2.  I just ordered two new pair of classic Vans.  I wander the shoe department at Nordstrom’s and I always come back to these.  Classic comfort for a girl that refuses to grow up.  Don’t worry I will not be pinning or rolling my jeans anytime soon.

3.  Ali Edwards and her latest project. Seriously inspiring.

4.  I hate that I am not in the mood to do anything today.  I have a TON of homework and no motivation to get it done.

5.  I got to spend the morning with the twins at the Scottish Festival.  Fun for all!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Yep...that’s me as of 7am this morning.  Who knew that having the Flu would leave me all bruised and beat up?  I have been fighting this beast all week long, I seriously thought that I would be over it yesterday.  Last night things went bad.  This is how Courtney explained what happened..I was sitting on the edge of the bed, feeling all loopy...I leaned over, threw up and fell on my face onto the floor.  The only thing I can remember is Courtney slapping me and yelling my name.  I totally fainted in my own puke.  GROSS!  That must have been when my fever spiked because it came down pretty quickly after that.  I wasn’t the only one that was down all week either, Cathy must have gotten a different strain of the flu that I have and she ended up with pneumonia.  All this sickness came from one cute two year old, Little Jack. 

I’ve actually left my bed today and I’ve been up walking around.  Still weak but feeling much better than I was all week.  I had a big weekend of cleaning planned...not sure how much of that will actually get done now.  The good news is that I lost two pounds this week!  Brian, Dayle and I are going to look at dresses one more time tomorrow.  That should be fun